


Sick

by narumimakoto



Series: yooran collection [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, descriptions of death and vomiting, the sad as fuck au that absolutely nobody asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 05:51:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12675699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narumimakoto/pseuds/narumimakoto
Summary: He had heard about this “disease” in stories. That’s all it was supposed to be, right? A story? Something made up and fake that could be fixed simply by waking up. But if this was just a story, why was Saeran’s room overflowing with flowers from this deadly disease? And to his luck, it just had to be a red flower; Cyclamen. A beautiful, poisonous flower meaning “all good things must come to an end”.





	Sick

6 days. That’s how long it had been since Saeran had come out of his room. He refused to come out to eat, to go shower, to do anything. Every so often throughout the day, Saeyoung or M.C. would come by, knocking on his door and leaving a plate of whatever meal they had just eaten on the ground to make sure he didn’t starve himself. Saeran would watch through the crack on the bottom of the door, only opening it once no one was around. He couldn’t let himself be seen this way. And, the food didn’t matter. He couldn’t keep any of it down anyways. Everything he ate and drank just came right back up.

He had heard about this “disease” in stories. That’s all it was supposed to be, right? A story? Something made up and fake that could be fixed simply by waking up. But if this was just a story, why was Saeran’s room overflowing with flowers from this deadly disease? And to his luck, it just had to be a red flower; Cyclamen. A beautiful, poisonous flower meaning “ _ all good things must come to an end _ ”.

In these stories, this “disease” is caused by unrequited love and can be cured by the love becoming requited or by the source being cut out of the victim’s stomach, but in doing it that way, the affected party would lose all memories of the one they loved. The victim could live this way forever, had the flower to come from their gut not be poisonous. But here was Saeran, holed up in his room, slowly wasting away due to the deadly reminder of his useless love that was coming up his throat every half hour. By today, he knew he didn’t have too much longer left. He could feel the roots beginning to grow around his lungs. If the poison didn’t kill him first, the roots would crush his lungs.

Should he leave to tell everyone goodbye? To thank Saeyoung and M.C. for coming to check on him? He thought about it, thought about what he’d say. But he couldn’t bring himself to face anyone. He didn’t want to answer their questions. He didn’t want to see Saeyoung’s face when he saw how ill he was again. He  _ certainly  _ did not want to face Yoosung, he was sure if he saw him face to face the petals might come up at an unbelievable rate and he’d drop dead right there.

“Saeran.” Saeyoung’s voice was soft coming through the door as he knocked. “I don’t care what you say today. I’ve… left you alone in here too long. Whatever it is, I’m going to help you.” His words were stern, but sweet, soft. His attempt to open the door was blocked by Saeran shoving all his weight against it and forcing it closed.

“No. I don’t, I don’t need any help. I’ll figure this out on my own.” Saeran’s voice was low and shaky, almost raspy. In this state, however, Saeran was no match for Saeyoung’s strength and he pushed the door open once more, causing his brother to fall to the floor in front of him. Saeran’s eyes went wide in horror as he watched his brother survey the garden that Saeran had thrown up. They both stayed silent for a moment, Saeran staring at Saeyoung and Saeyoung staring at the flowers.

“Who?” Saeyoung asked, finally bringing his eyes down to meet his brother’s. Saeran’s eyes, along with his cheeks, were sunken in and dark. He was  _ far _ thinner than he had been just last week and his hair was falling out in small clumps. Saeyoung’s eyes began to fill with tears at the sight of his brother being so helpless against this curse and in the worst shape he had seen him in since childhood.

“Don’t… be like that. You know who.” Saeran pulled himself to his feet and over to his bed, Saeyoung following suit. Silence fell over them once more as Saeran began to speak but was cut off by another coughing fit, the flower this time being accompanied by some blood. “It’s useless to try and fix this. Perfectly fitting for someone like me, this flower is poisonous.” Saeran held out the newly thrown up flower before dropping it to the floor with the others.

“We can cut it out.” Saeyoung suggested.

“I don’t want to lose the memories of him. That’d be far more painful than dying from this.” Saeran’s answered, beginning to cry.

“Saer-” Saeyoung began but was cut off.

“Don’t fucking try to convince me. I just, I can’t lose the memories of the first real friend I had. What if you lost  _ all  _ your memories of M.C.?”

Saeyoung sat silent again, the only noise between them the sound of Saeran’s choking sobs and his bed creaking as Saeyoung moved to pull him into a hug. “Are you… totally sure it’s unrequited?”

“No, I’m slowly poisoning myself in the most disgusting and inconvenient way ever because I fucking feel like it.” Saeran continued crying into Saeyoung’s shoulder.

“Maybe you could convince him.” Saeyoung suggested.

“Fuck do you mean convince him?”

“You know, confess your love! Flowers, chocolates, gifts!” Saeyoung suddenly raised his voice, placing one hand on his heart and the other in the air, putting on a smile for Saeran’s sake.

“Okay, and then what? Let’s say I do tell him. What if-” Saeran was cut off once again by bloody petals coming up his throat. “What if he wants to see me in person then? You know Yoosung. If he saw me, if he found about this, he’d just guilt himself into liking me back.” Saeran’s voice was shaky from crying still and raspy from the bleeding.

“You won’t know until you try.” Saeyoung reassured his brother.

“Can you drop it! This is going to kill me soon anyways, I didn’t even want you to know but you’re too damn nosy! I’m not telling him because he doesn’t need to get hurt because I can’t seem to handle my fucking emotions.” Saeran choked out another sob before getting up and forcing Saeyoung to his doorway. “Please, just leave me be.”

“Can you please just  _ try  _ telling him? If not for your sake, then mine. I can’t lose you for real this time.” The hurt in Saeyoung’s voice struck Saeran in the heart, bringing on another round of crying. He gave a half nod before pushing Saeyoung all the way out of the room and shutting the door. 

_ If not for your sake, then mine. If not for your sake, then mine.  _ Saeyoung’s words and the sadness that flowed out of him with them danced through Saeran’s head over and over. Saeran rolled over onto his side on his bed and grabbed his phone from his nightstand, the dim light of his screen reading 11:57 P.M.  _ If not for your sake, then mine. _ Saeran pulled up Yoosung’s contact and began typing out his confession/goodbye message.

 

> **Saeran:** **_sent at 12:34 A.M._ **
> 
> _ For both of our sakes, it’s better if you just read this and don’t reply. _
> 
> _ When I was released from the hospital, you were the first member of the RFA to really welcome me. Knowing you, you just did it because I’m Saeyoung’s brother so you felt like you had to. Regardless, I really appreciated it. I didn’t expect any of you to talk to me ever again after all I had done. _
> 
> _ I still remember every detail of the first day we ever actually hung out. It was the day after Saeyoung’s ridiculous engagement party, him and M.C. had left on that trip to god knows where and I was stuck returning your backpack to you that you had left at the bunker. You really looked terrified when I showed up to your apartment by myself. I can’t say I don’t blame you, the last time you and I were alone before that I tried to blind you. But you were still kind. Still welcoming. Still making an effort to be friendly towards me. You even invited me inside because you were practicing your cooking and you had too much kimchi left over and I ‘just absolutely have to try it’. And sitting across from you at your stupidly small kitchen table while you watched me with wide eyes to see if I liked it or not, I finally realized what love at first sight meant. I guess that wasn’t the first time we met, but it felt like it. You were so happy when I said it was good. After that, you didn’t seem so scared of me. _
> 
> _ The more and more time we spent together after that, the more I began to like you. For a while I felt that maybe it just because you were the first non-family member to allow me into your life, but even after developing some sort of mild friendship with Zen and the others, even after they were as kind to me as you were, the feeling wasn’t the same with them. I found myself waiting for you to come into the messenger every day. I looked forward to everything you said, even if it was just complaining about that girl Yuri not doing her part of the group project, or Minhyuk spilling his drink on your notes. I wanted to hear everything you had to say. Even the painful things to hear like the girl you finally scored a date with. I don’t feel to proud to say I was a bit happy when it didn’t work out. _
> 
> _ It definitely started off as just some school girl crush, the asshole shy kid in love with the outgoing ray of hope. I’m not sure where along the way I totally fell for you, but it definitely happened. _
> 
> _ It’s not really like me to get sentimental like this, I guess. But as I’ve been a bit sick recently, I feel all thrown off and felt like I should tell you all of this now. I don’t expect you to feel the same way, it’s fairly obvious you don’t. I’m just hoping it’ll help get some of the weight off my chest. _
> 
> _ I do love you Yoosung. A lot more than I ever thought I’d allow myself to love someone. _

Saeran threw his phone across the room, it landing in a pile of petals and sending them into the air. He knew full well Yoosung was awake right now, he knew Yoosung would try to call him after something like that. He knew he might die on the spot if he had to hear Yoosung reject him.

 

* * *

Yoosung stared at the message he was just sent, reading it over and over and over again. He could feel the amount of thought and emotion that went into it. It was odd for Saeran to talk to Yoosung without calling him an idiot in an affectionate way, without teasing him at all. He wondered if Saeyoung had put him up to this, some awful joke to mess with him so late at night. But even though it was out of character for Saeran to get so emotional, the message was also overflowing with  _ him.  _

He looked it over again. And again. And one last time. He felt happy at first, he wasn’t sure why. He didn’t feel like he liked Saeran in that way, but the message made some feeling rise in his chest that he hadn’t felt before. But then he was worried. The ending sentence felt more like a final goodbye than a confession.

 

* * *

“I need to see Saeran.” Yoosung panted, out of breath from running 2 miles at 1 in the morning because no busses ran this late.

“How wonderful! I told him he was wrong, I just knew you’d come running into his arms!” Saeyoung swung Yoosung around in a hug before Yoosung pushed him off.

“Saeyoung!” Yoosung yelled. “Let me talk to him. He didn’t sound well in his message.” 

“Well, obviously. He has been a little… sick.”

“No, it’s not that. He mentioned that. This sounded like a, like a goodbye message. I don’t know. Can I just see him?” Yoosung was practically begging at this point.

“What do you mean by a  _ goodbye message _ ?” All tones of joking were now gone from Saeyoung’s face and his face fell flat.

“The way he ended it. It just sounded like that. Saeyoung ple-” Before Yoosung could even finish, Saeyoung was already down the hall towards Saeran’s room, throwing the door open. Yoosung stayed where he was standing, waiting for a hint from Saeyoung’s body language that it was ok to go in also. But Saeyoung simply closed the door and sat down where he was, burying his face in his hands. Yoosung moved to push past him, opening Saeran’s door anyways.

The sight he was greeted with was enough to make him throw up. Petals and whole flowers littered everything, some covered in blood, others simply saliva. Yoosung watched Saeran, who lay limp on his bed. He had one hand still clutching his shirt in a fist so tight Yoosung couldn’t believe it didn’t rip, and the other hung over the of his edge open-palmed and lifeless. As Yoosung got closer, he could see what appeared to be roots spilling out from Saeran’s mouth, drenched in blood. Yoosung could see traces of crying, of sobbing, on Saeran’s face, even though he was dead. 

Yoosung ran out of Saeran’s room and into the bathroom, heaving up everything he had eaten in the last day, possibly two. And when that was gone, nothing but stomach acid. Every time he thought he was done, he thought about Saeran and threw up more.

“Yoosung. Do you want me to drive you home?” Saeyoung asked softly, kneeling down next to Yoosung to brush his hair out of his face.

“Why didn’t I call you? If I had called you while I ran here maybe he wouldn’t be-” The mere thought of Saeran lying dead caused him to gag again.

“I didn’t know it was this bad already. Even if you had called, it would’ve been… useless. He didn’t tell me the roots had reached his lungs.” Saeyoung’s voice remained soft, but monotone.

“What are you talking about?” Yoosung brought his eyes up to meet Saeyoung’s, both of their’s bleary.

“A disease from fairy tales brought to life due to unrequited love. You cough up flowers, and if let go long enough, the roots will twist their way around your lungs and heart, crushing them until you die. A bit ridiculous isn’t it?” Saeyoung laughed slightly before crying again.

“ _ Unrequited  _ love?” Yoosung dropped his gaze to the floor.

“Oops!” Saeyoung smiled weakly and cover his mouth with one finger in the  _ shhh  _ pose. “I spilled the one thing he didn’t want me to mention.”

Yoosung pulled himself to his feet and shuffled his way outside, Saeyoung following close behind to make sure he was ok. Yoosung fell to the ground the moment he stepped foot outside.  _ Unrequited. Was this really unrequited? Was I just too stupid to realize before now how I felt? I could’ve saved him. I could’ve saved him.  _ Yoosung’s thoughts were interrupted by a heavy cough and something tight in his throat. He keeled over, coughing heavily until his airway was clear and a white chrysanthemum fell out of his mouth and into his hands.

**Author's Note:**

> the flower yoosung throws up at the end means lamentation and grief in korea
> 
> \- edit: yoosung coughing up the mum at the end is bc he realized he did love saeran back but its unrequited bc hes well. dead. i wanted to leave the ending as is but i dont think it showed that well so heres this


End file.
